Kicking off the AMP Watches double-feature is “Trading Places” (dir. John Landis 1983), an enemies-to-lovers comedy about a white Philadelphia stockbroker — Louis Winthorpe III (Dan Aykroyd) — and a homeless black man who pretends to be a blind, legless veteran to scam people — Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy). The premise draws on the nature vs. nurture debate that psychologists have discussed for decades: the owners of the stockbroking firm, Randolph and Mortimer Duke, make a wager to see if they can completely swap the behaviors of the protagonists by swapping their environments in a sort of twisted science experiment. They get Winthorpe fired and essentially canceled amongst his peers and loved ones — leaving him desperate, grimy, and homeless — and give Valentine a clean bed, warm food, and a cushy stockbroking job that definitely does anything real and valuable to society in order to turn him into an upstanding and intellectual gentleman who thinks poor people are lazy entitled bums. To a certain end, this becomes surprisingly insightful for the time. The film acknowledges concepts like systemic racism — the cultural/bureaucratic structures that restrict economic and social mobility for people of color in ways that go beyond simple interpersonal animus — and even nods at talking points surrounding meritocracy and eugenics that really should have been put to bed a long time ago, but still get dragged through conversations surrounding DEI and critical race theory in our highest chambers of legislature. And, ultimately, the film contends that Americans ought to look closer at how they got to where they are, especially the white, bootstrappy types who don’t realize how many barriers people of color face and how many opportunities were pretty much handed to them. It’s almost astoundingly introspective for a 1983 film by a white guy who was born before the Civil Rights Act was passed — as long as you don’t look too closely.

While the premise has a lot to offer, the entire movie completely derails in the third act. Once Winthorpe and Valentine discover the Dukes’ bet in the name of science (for one dollar), they head to the Twin Towers (never forget and God Bless America) to out-trade the Dukes and put them in the poorhouse whilst getting rich themselves. On the way, however, they 1) culturally appropriate several cultures, including blackface by Dan Aykroyd that serves zero real narrative purpose and 2) get a gorilla to sexually assault a man. These are the worst offending moments of the film, which fail to provide a real satirical zing in favor of cheap “dark comedy” laughs and could easily have been replaced with other plot points, but they aren’t the only problems with such topics in the movie. Littered throughout those same two “insightful” first acts are off-hand jokes about being gay, black stereotypes, and patriarchal depictions of women, and while some of these do have satirical purpose — such as when the Dukes over-explain the breakfast foods exchanged in the stock market and Eddie Murphy stares directly into the camera like in “The Office” — these aspects are at the expense of their subjects four out of five times. All-in-all, a grueling time for us here at AMP who wasted a good two hours of our lives watching cultural appropriation and acts of sexual gorilla violence in the name of cornering the frozen orange juice stock market and…solving racism? Question mark?

The second film in our lineup, “Coming to America,” is listed as a romantic comedy but is neither romantic nor comedic. It feels a little less racist than “Trading Places” while still maintaining an ever-present racist vibe. My best guess for why this film is marginally more tolerable than its predecessor is because there aren’t any unbearably snobbish white characters this time. Unfortunately, the film still drops the ball by not making any of its other characters or plotlines compelling. Now that being said, credit where credit is due — although “Coming to America” never once tries to present its fictionalized version of African culture in an accurate way, it’s still pretty cool to see a film where nearly all of the cast is Black. To me, this is one of the only beneficial things that make it stand out.

So, what the hell is this film and why is it connected to “Trading Places?” To start, both of these films are directed by the same person: John Landis. You may or may not be familiar with him, but if you’ve ever heard about the notorious Twilight Zone helicopter incident of 1982, then he’s primarily the person to blame — not that he’d tell you that. 

Anyways, are you familiar with those Nigerian prince email scams that people used to send to each other back in the day? I guess someone thought that would make a decent premise for a film because the writers took that premise and did absolutely nothing interesting with it. Prince Akeem, who is accustomed to living in the lap of luxury in a fictional country/kingdom called Zamunda, decides to rough it in New York to find a suitable bride for himself. In a similar vein as “Trading Places,” the film tries to make a point about a specific social injustice and say “Hey! This is bad and screwed up, don’t do it!” and then immediately turns around and does the very same thing that it’s asking you not to do. With “Trading Places” it was racism, and with this film it’s sexism. Akeem says that he wants a wife with opinions, he wants her to be well-educated and able to speak her mind. Oh that’s nice, you may be thinking. He’s upper-crust, but at least he’s progressive. Oh, if only… We’re treated to no shortage of sexist, racist, gay, and transphobic jokes during the film’s nearly 2 hour runtime.

“Coming to America” isn’t interested in things like stakes or development. Akeem and his manservant, Semmi, get their luggage stolen — but that’s okay, because they still have clothes and money I guess! Akeem’s love interest happens to be taken at first, but that’s okay because he wins her over by just standing there and saying what she wants to hear when the scene calls for it! Wait, Akeem has an arranged bride, you say? Who cares about her! We never see her again after the first act! The film doesn’t try to sell you on any kind of urgency at any point, which causes the plot to drag like hell from beginning to end. Upon finishing it I sighed, closed my laptop, and then immediately started playing “Yakuza 8” for several hours. I think that action sums up my collective opinion on both of these films. Thank you for allowing us to embark on John Landis’ wild ride for your entertainment, even though literally nobody asked us to do this. We got you, don’t worry.

Naturally, this month’s AMP Watches reviews beg the question: why the hell would we watch and review two wildly racist films that we didn’t enjoy, made by a guy who blew up a helicopter resulting in the deaths of three people with no consequence? What the hell is the point?! Well, it all comes down to this: in “Trading Places,” antagonists Randolph and Mortimer Duke end up destitute and on the streets. In “Coming to America,” Eddie Murphy’s primary role hands a McDonald’s bag full of cash to two dirty old homeless men in an act of charity. One of the men exclaims, “Mortimer! We’re BACK,” confirming by name that both films take place in the same continuity. Additionally, there is a barber shop scene in “Coming to America” in which Eddie Murphy plays three distinct characters in conversation with each other, separate from his primary role of Prince Akeem. Therefore, in this alternate universe in which Nigerian princes actually give strangers money and systemic racism is solved by forging crop reports for frozen orange juice, there is not one, not two, not even three, but FIVE Eddie Murphies that exist within New England. Count ‘em: FIVE. You almost can’t count them on one hand. So, y’know. You’re welcome, Comets.