Works compiled by Dr. Mark Curie, UTDologist

Many of the records of the institution formerly known as the University of Texas at Dallas were lost during the Terrible Temoc Tornado of 2029 — who would have thought that the combination of Temoc’s fiery hair and his smoking hot body would have such a devastating effect when combined with a category 6 tornado. The Sacred Order of Tobor has made it its mission to recover and document any and all files regarding UTD before its desolation. Of particular interest is the individual known as Bichard E. Renson, the Order’s records indicate that the U.S. Federal Department of Education had launched an investigation into his violent tendencies in the year 2026 after Renson was caught training a pack of feral squirrels to eat any student caught thinking about protesting on campus. The Order also has grounds to believe that Renson was the final president of the university. What follows is the compilation of surviving parts of Renson’s diary found within the rubble of the Administration building. 

August 12, 2016

Tomorrow is the big day. I have been here all summer working with my new staff to prepare the campus. I wasn’t expecting old Temoc to put up such a fight when we brought in UTDPD to put him in the Visitor Center box, but at least now he is contained and the students and I can rest assured that we will be safe this year. The new Temoc looks great, and I hope the students get as much enjoyment out of him as I did. I spoke to facilities today and they said the campus is ready to support the whole student body. While housing mentioned that they had a few parents get aggressive during move-in, there weren’t any deaths or critical injuries, so we can at least keep the legal department happy in that regard. I know that Student Affairs spent quite a lot of time and money planning their weeks of welcome events, so I hope to see a great turnout. I will definitely attend a few just to meet my actual students as I welcome them to this hallowed repository of learning. 

September 5, 2016

The fall semester is off to a great start. I did get a lot of emails from students complaining about the difficulty of their courses and the size of the campus, but my assistants were able to redirect those to the appropriate offices so I could focus on what really matters, relaxing. If I am going to be my best self when serving this institution, I need to first center myself and overcome these insecurities. The UT system wouldn’t have put me here if they didn’t think I was the best man for the job. 11 years as Dean of Engineering at West Virginia Tech showed me what it took to be a leader, and now I get to lead a whole campus. I will say, while I am only a few weeks into this role, those incessant fire alarms are starting to get on my nerves. How can there be so much smoke on one campus?

August 2, 2017

This semester the campus is finally a tobacco and smoke-free zone. The fire marshall told me that for “safety concerns” and “building codes” we couldn’t remove all of the smoke detectors; however, we were allowed to just outright ban smoking by rebranding ourselves as a “smoke-free” campus. I know all the people at the Student Health Center said this would help keep students safe by being a deterrent towards the unhealthy habit of smoking, but I found more joy in being able to say that something just can’t be done anymore on campus. It felt good. I finally felt strong. I think it would be fun to start banning a few more things. We offer these students and faculty so many different things, how many of these services do they really need?

September 1, 2019

Today marks 50 years since the Southwest Center for Advanced Studies became UTD. What a historical pressure to live up to. This school was founded the year of the moon landings, and now the students have developed this cult-like obsession with everything space. Like, yes, I know it is interesting. That’s the reason I studied aerospace engineering back at Princeton in the ‘60s and ‘70s, but they are just incessant about it. I know that I have only been in this role for three years, but I can already feel it taking its toll on me. I see Temoc everywhere since the students won’t stop sexualizing him! What is wrong with them? I am not passionate about helping the students anymore because I just don’t have the time for it. Every day I am just jumping from one issue to the next, meeting with this donor and some other donor. Everyone wants something and no one is happy. Our enrollment numbers are up, I love that at least, but I keep getting pushback in the state legislature now that they are in their whole anti-public education mode. My assistant tells me that some weird Crow guy keeps wanting to get in touch with me, and I just don’t know if I have the energy to put up with some ornithology nerd. 

March 28, 2020

The whole campus is going virtual now because of the plague. I am so alone, but at least I have Mr. Crow to keep me company each night. He always has such fascinating items in his private collection. He said that at the next fundraising event he would show me some special items from his German collection. 

May 1, 2024

We help make bombs, so what! These students have been such a pest. Constantly going on and on about wanting the university to “Divest from Death.” Okay, thanks for the alliteration. Do you think catchy slogans are going to make me change my mind? No. I already took your little rocks away, and I am more than happy to keep taking and taking. The school is here to teach. And I will use every resource available to me to make sure these students learn a lesson. I was confused back when Crow first gave me Greg’s personal phone number, but now I understand. Sometimes, the university just has to enforce its rules. This is out of my hands, and I am just here to see how this all plays out. Maybe it will give everyone at Crow’s fundraising party something fun to look at on the TV later today. I really wish they would just see how much I do for them, this is for their own benefit. Maybe a good baton whack or two will help get it into their heads that they can not change MY campus.