AMP
The Official Student Opinion and Satire Magazine of UTD

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February Food Review: Mediterranean Madness!
Restaurant 1: Abu Omar Halal Abu Omar Halal is a quaint little franchise restaurant not more than 15 minutes away from the abodes within the UTD campus. A short summary of its history would detail humble beginnings as a food truck in Houston, which has now expanded to a franchise boasting multiple food trucks and […]

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Satire
Good Husbandkeeping
Disclaimer: This article contains mentions of sexual assault and depictions of religious extremism. Please read at your own discretion. Hey girlies! I hope that everyone’s been doing all their weekly thoughts and prayers since I last wrote! This month, since we’re all preparing for the day of love, I have a special treat for my […]

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Satire
A Praise of Sexless Education
Friends, Texans, countrymen, lend me your ears. I come not to praise sexual immorality, but to bury it. You see, the debauchery and degeneracy you’ll find in the other pages of this magazine is emblematic of how colleges are failing to instill virtues into the next generation, a path through which civilization will surely fall. […]

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AMP Watches: Sex and Violence
Welcome back Comets! The scent of love permeates the air, or is that the lingering haze of gamer musk emanating from the Student Union? Regardless of its origin, we here at AMP understand that love can get a little messy sometimes — or very messy in the cases of these films. Whether you’re looking for […]

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Satire
Intro to Computer Science
Chillguy745: Hey everyone! Just curious what y’all are gonna be up to on valentine’s day. Normalperson68: Oh my bf and I are gonna go see a movie! Haven’t decided what yet tho. Reasonablepidgeon9: It’s me and my gf’s 2nd valentine’s so I’ve got a reservation at this really nice place and I’m gonna get chocolates […]

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Finding Love in an Invertebrate Place
The Valentine’s Day season reminds us how many forms love can take, although some expressions of love are a little more unconventional than others. You’ve probably encountered tales of some odd sexual acts throughout your life — maybe you’ve even participated in some! That said, no one can rival the ways invertebrates get down and […]

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Satire
HOW2SEX
Hello, virgins!

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Ratford
Satire
Ratford Returns
Hi folks! A lot of people wonder how I stay peppy after each of my breakups from my myriad marriages. The answer to that is that I treat myself to a nicely-aged wedge of gouda and then cry myself to sleep for the next week. Apparently, this technique doesn’t work for most people. I can’t […]

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Back Comic: December 2024

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December 2024 Horoscopes
Aries: Workplace safety violations may give you an opportunity for a lawsuit! But do you have it in your heart to sue…Santa Claus??? Taurus: Don’t be afraid to rely on your friends for support in the coming month. It’s not like any of them will betray you or anything. Definitely not in a way involving […]

Ed Desk
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December 2024 Ed Desk
Happy Holidays, Comets!

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Satire
Full Mistletoe Jacket
There is evil in this world.