AMP
The Official Student Opinion and Satire Magazine of UTD
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March 2023 Horoscopes
Aries: Report that professor. Through Title IX. For realsies. Taurus: You should listen to people. That idea everyone says sucks? It sucks. Gemini: Still haven’t tried antidepressants yet, huh? Cancer: Cut that person out of your life. Like, seriously all the time. You know who I’m talking about. Leo: Make money before you spend it. […]
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Ratford
Relaxation with Ratford
Hello! Ratford here to offer more advice! Nico, uhh, collected me to help you all. I’m definitely here willingly! How do you find a lyapunov function without dying? I dunno. I’m just a rat. You can probably find it in the lost and found or something. What do I do if my own thoughts won’t […]
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February 2023 Horoscopes
Aries: Do you even have time to be looking for love right now? Before you buy someone dinner, consider buying yourself a planner. Taurus: Routine is important, but beware of stagnation. Hang out with someone you haven’t seen in a while! Gemini: Compartmentalizing every part of your personality into neat little boxes is not going […]
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Ratford
Satire
Romance with Ratford
Students ask the esteemed love expert, Ratford the Rat, for advice regarding their wooing woes. Q: Would you rather date Temoc, Enarc, or Tobor? A: Bold of you to assume that any of our beloved mascots/idols aren’t hitched already. Q: What makes you feel the most loved? A: Q: How do we rizz? A: Either […]
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Local Eats
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Food for Thought: Northside Eats
Chopped Halal Grill Located at the Northside Apartments strip, Chopped is arguably one of the favorites around UTD’s campus. The portions are large, pricing is reasonable, and the quality is something to write home about. An average bowl entrée at Chopped is approximately $13, depending on what you include in the bowl. There are many […]
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Horoscopes: December 2022
Aries: The end of the year is a good time to step back and seriously evaluate your life. What do you want to hold onto, and what do you need to let go of? HINT: YOU NEED TO LET GO. Taurus: You shouldn’t bottle up your feelings just to avoid inconveniencing others. Sometimes the best […]
DJ Showcase
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DJ Showcase: Pop Rocks and Cola
Groovy nostalgia. That’s how Computer Science senior and DJ David Allen sums up his weekly show Pop Rocks and Cola. Each Wednesday from 12-3 pm, Allen takes listeners through global music ranging from rock genres from the ‘70s and ‘80s to more modern varieties of future funk and vaporwave. Pop Rocks and Cola combines two […]
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Local Eats
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UTD Eats: Mexican Food
Nuno’s Tacos and Vegmex Grill Nuno’s Tacos and Vegmex Grill is a ten-minute drive from campus. Since opening in 2019, business has expanded enough that the kitchen has taken over most of the dining area and there are just two tables left – so make a reservation if you want to dine in! As the […]
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Satire
AMP’s Sixth Annual Naughty or Nice List
Naughty: Wife Guys Ned Fulmer, John Mulaney, Adam Levine… Just goes to show that you can’t trust a guy who makes ‘loving his wife’ his entire brand. If you love your wife so much, why are you using her for profit? Tech Billionaires This spot was almost awarded to Elon (again) for his crimes against […]
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November 2022 Horoscopes
Aries: Keep the sunk-cost fallacy in mind this month. Just because you’ve devoted a lot of time and energy to something, doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to let it go. Taurus: After five long months, Saturn is finally out of retrograde! You’re free! Use this time to take a well-needed rest. The worst is already […]
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Local Eats
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UTD Eats: Vegetarian
Kalachandji’s Looking to expand the horizons of your taste buds? Then walk yourself to the SU and place an order at Kalachandji’s. This new addition to the Dining Hall prides itself on its plant-based Indian cuisine and offers dishes to try from all over the country. The popular choice at Kalachandji’s is the create-your-own style […]
DJ Showcase
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DJ Showcase: “Good Morning Everybody”
Sarina “Shiloh” Mohanlal is the host of “Good Morning Everybody,” a “weekly dose of aimless conversation” that airs from 10-11 a.m. on Wednesday mornings. Sarina’s sharp humor and high-energy personality make her a great conversationalist and a fantastic talk show host. But when Sarina sat down to chat with me, she brought a friend with […]