AMP
The Official Student Opinion and Satire Magazine of UTD
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AMP Watches: The Eddie Murphy Cinematic Universe
You’ve heard of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. You’ve perhaps sparingly heard of the DC Cinematic Universe, which has been/is failing miserably. You might even be familiar with the Megaverse, as advertised by Steve Carrell in unveiling the next 100 years of Despicable Me/Minions films and TV productions. However, all of these pale in contrast to the intertextual masterpiece no one asked for: the Eddie Murphy Cinematic Universe. Comets, now is the time to feast your eyes on two timeless cinematic classics that we watched so you don’t have to, featuring Eddie Murphy, Eddie Murphy, Eddie Murphy, Eddie Murphy, and Eddie Murphy. You’re welcome, and we’re sorry.
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Horoscopes
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September 2024 Horoscopes
Aries: School’s back! I give it a week before you start skipping classes again. Taurus: The stars say you’re not being honest with yourself. But, like, in a cool way that makes you mysterious and sexy. Gemini: Spiritually, what you need is to go to Panera Bread. Y’know, to remember why you don’t go to […]
Entertainment
Ratford
Rizzing Up Ratford
I got a bunch of letters in the mail this month. Like, paper. In an envelope. Who even does that anymore? But boy, I can’t wait to find out what they’re about! Ratford, this isn’t a question, but I’ve wanted to tell you something for a long time now, and I hope you’ll take the […]
Features
Local Eats
Food For Thought
As much as I love the idea of winter — wearing cute fluffy clothes, drinking hot chocolate, and making pitiful snowmen with the half inch of snow we get in Texas — I unfortunately cannot stand the cold. Since we’ve been getting below freezing temperatures lately, I wanted to find some hot Venezuelan food to […]
Print Issues
DJ Showcase: Noah Rayburn
As you might guess from a title like “Audio Transmission Sending Waves,” the host of this RadioUTD show, Noah Rayburn, can be a bit eccentric. In the short time I chatted with him he told me stories of fish men from Atlantis, hinted at a dark past with the sky people, and shifted his accent […]
Features
Local Eats
Moon Meals on Wheels
Moon Meals – On Wheels: recapping the best food from this summer! The top winners are Texas A1 Steaks and Seafood (Portland, TX) and Douceur de France (Marietta, GA)! Texas A1 Steaks and Seafood: I loved this spot so much that I went two nights in a row. The star of the show by far […]
Horoscopes
Print Issues
May 2023 Horoscopes
Aries: Exact cold, brutal revenge on your worst enemies this month. As a treat! Taurus: Sometimes it’s okay to ritualistically sacrifice a Virgo. Gemini: You’re going to spend too much time thinking about the many instances in which Bugs Bunny wears drag. Cancer: Stop waiting around for life to send something your way! I mean, […]
Features
Horoscopes
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April 2023 Horoscopes
Aries: The stars have gifted you with newfound financial expertise! Invest everything in crypto. Taurus: Someone you now’s got it out for you, which is why your stint with the local mob boss is finally going to pay off. Gemini: Yuo’re gniog too fsat. I’m miakng you solw down. Tkae a deep baerth…There. Isn’t that […]
Features
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Ratford
Ratford Recommends
Should I drop out? It depends on what you’re referring to. Dropping out of college? I probably wouldn’t recommend it. Dropping out of my personal Stuart Little 2-esque biplane? For the love of God, why else did you book this skydiving trip with me? I have other appointments to get to, you know. Do you […]
Features
Horoscopes
Print Issues
Horoscopes: December 2022
Aries: The end of the year is a good time to step back and seriously evaluate your life. What do you want to hold onto, and what do you need to let go of? HINT: YOU NEED TO LET GO. Taurus: You shouldn’t bottle up your feelings just to avoid inconveniencing others. Sometimes the best […]
Features
Local Eats
Print Issues
UTD Eats: Mexican Food
Nuno’s Tacos and Vegmex Grill Nuno’s Tacos and Vegmex Grill is a ten-minute drive from campus. Since opening in 2019, business has expanded enough that the kitchen has taken over most of the dining area and there are just two tables left – so make a reservation if you want to dine in! As the […]
Features
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Satire
AMP’s Sixth Annual Naughty or Nice List
Naughty: Wife Guys Ned Fulmer, John Mulaney, Adam Levine… Just goes to show that you can’t trust a guy who makes ‘loving his wife’ his entire brand. If you love your wife so much, why are you using her for profit? Tech Billionaires This spot was almost awarded to Elon (again) for his crimes against […]