AMP
The Official Student Opinion and Satire Magazine of UTD

Ed Desk
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December 2024 Ed Desk
Happy Holidays, Comets!

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culture
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Satire
A Visit From Temoc
‘Twas the night before finals, and all through UTD... Not a student was prepared, least of all me.

culture
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Satire
UTD Transportation: RANKED
From bikes to horses to Tobors(?), this transportation tier list is a guide for any UTD student’s survival!

culture
Ed Desk
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November 2024 Ed Desk: FUCK UTD ADMIN
Hi Comets!! hiiiiiiiii :3

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Ratford
Satire
Ratford Reviles
This month, we asked Comets to tell us their favorite parts of the UTD experience, so that Ratford could demean and insult the things they hold dear. Unfortunately, you assholes are so goddamn jaded and this university sucks so much shit that almost none of you actually responded with things you like. What the fuck, […]

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Satire
The Parking Conspiracy
WHAT UTD WON’T TELL YOU ABOUT PARKING… So you think you know what this school is about, huh? You’ve probably heard all about the tunnels underneath campus, the malodorous dangers of the ECS buildings, and, of course, the parking police: the bastions of traffic safety protecting our school from the dangers of illegal parking and […]

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The Testing Center TESTS OUR PATIENCE
If I Have Another Test At The Fuckass Testing Center, I Will Become Benson’s Problem In Even More Interesting Ways The journey is long and arduous, but it’s a journey I must take. Having spent the previous night diligently studying and now allegedly wiser, I don my finest (least-stained) outfit and prepare for the expedition […]

culture
Opinion
The Hall of Grease: A Look into UTD’s (Mainly) White, Old, and Greasy Presidents
All this grease doesn’t just appear by coincidence.

culture
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Satire
Diary of a Wimpy Cop
Tuesday, April 30th Dear Diary, My cousin living down in Austin called me earlier. He got to do something really fun yesterday. He was called up to UT Austin to help with a protest encampment. I’m really proud of how well he did; he’s come a long way since he voluntarily left the Dallas force […]

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Satire
Portrait of a Lady, Fired
This email was submitted to the Court of Modest Proposals as part of the prosecution’s evidence that UTD’s administration has been acting maliciously towards its student journalists. When asked whether he believed the defense had ill intent, UTD President Bichard Renson took a drag of his cotton-candy-flavored jumbo Cuban cigar and said, “I didn’t know […]

Opinion
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The Fifth Student Media War
Battle scars litter the hallowed hall of the UTD Student Media office.

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The Comics
Back Comic: Dreeemy
There's something in the water...