This month, Comets sent me their favorite movies to review! I watched each and every one, except for the movies that seemed boring. I have a very refined palette, after all.

Priscilla

Stop calling Elvis a rat. We don’t claim him.

Wonka

My niece said Timothée Chalamet “Timothée Chala-slayed”. Personally, I just know there’s a secret cheese wing of the ‘chocolate’ factory, and I WILL find it.

The Batman

This is a cheap knockoff! This Batman character is a blatant ripoff of my original character, Ratman. DC, expect to hear from my lawyers!

Saltburn

Yeah, that’s about what I remember the early 2000s being like.

Nacho Libre

I remember hearing that this movie’s name means Free Cheese in Spanish. I had never experienced true bliss until I experienced free cheese. No, I don’t count my ex-wife.

9

As a certified Little Guy myself, the many Little Guys in this movie represent my experiences to a T! Running from murder robots is at least 10% of my daily routine.

Wall-E

I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a decision dumber than the humans deciding to leave Earth. Did they not see the piles and piles of trash? It’s a rat’s dream, I tell you, a dream!

Kung Fu Panda

Rats have their own version of Jack Black. His name is Pepper Jack Black, and his performance in Kung Fu Rat was phenomenal. There’s no way this knock-off could ever live up to that standard.

Trolls

Is this Homestuck? I’ve heard of Homestuck. I don’t think I would like it.

Cars

Unfortunately, there is no cheese in this movie on account of it being about cars who cannot eat. 0/10, needs more cheese.