AMP
The Official Student Opinion and Satire Magazine of UTD

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Ratford
Ratford Rewatches
Hi everyone! I’m so glad to celebrate another holiday season as a student at UTD! This year, I have a gift that I know you’ll enjoy: my opinions! I’m going to review some of my favorite holiday movies, and then some of yours as well. Happy holidays! Home Alone 4 (2002) 5/5 Cheeses This is […]

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Ratford Reviles
This month, we asked Comets to tell us their favorite parts of the UTD experience, so that Ratford could demean and insult the things they hold dear. Unfortunately, you assholes are so goddamn jaded and this university sucks so much shit that almost none of you actually responded with things you like. What the fuck, […]

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Ratford Rejoices!
Apparently the youths of today need a rundown on how and when to get celebratory, so they decided to ask a middle-aged, divorced rat.

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Ratford Regrets
Ah, youth. The essence of life. They say that with age comes wisdom, but all I got from it were back pains, a weak nose, and a very ugly divorce with my latest ex-wife! So let’s forget them (and her) and flip this script around! Time to pry into the minds of our youth and […]

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Ratford
Ratford’s SabRATical
Another school year has passed...

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Ratford
Ratford Recycles
Hello, Concerned Comets! This month, I’m on a mission to make the world a better place. Many of you, like me, are concerned about the Earth and want to relieve the burden that is 2.12 billion tons of waste simply rotting in our landfills, so I’m taking your suggestions on being green and staying cool. […]

Entertainment
Ratford
Ratford Reviews
This month, Comets sent me their favorite movies to review! I watched each and every one, except for the movies that seemed boring. I have a very refined palette, after all. Priscilla Stop calling Elvis a rat. We don’t claim him. Wonka My niece said Timothée Chalamet “Timothée Chala-slayed”. Personally, I just know there’s a […]

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Ratford
Rizzing Up Ratford
I got a bunch of letters in the mail this month. Like, paper. In an envelope. Who even does that anymore? But boy, I can’t wait to find out what they’re about! Ratford, this isn’t a question, but I’ve wanted to tell you something for a long time now, and I hope you’ll take the […]

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Ratford
Resolutions with Ratford
Comets shared their New Year’s Resolutions with me, seeking my knowledgeable opinion!

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Ratford
Ratford Replies
Ratford helps out a reader with a gnarly rat problem

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Ratford
Ratford Rises From the Grave
Q: Is it okay to think the Grim Reaper is hot? A: Who wouldn’t? Sure, he’s the walking definition of a red flag. However, he does check all my boxes. Tall, pale, bony, and over thirty. My dream guy TBH. Q: Is it true there’s a secret witches’ coven in the sewers under UTD? A: […]

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Ratford
Ratford: Back to School Edition
Q: I’m new to UTD, is there anything to look forward to? A: UTD has a lot of things to offer! Food, video games, a gym, I practically live here! No, that isn’t a joke, I literally live here! Q: Skateboard or bicycle? A: Skateboard! My little feet can’t reach the pedals on a bicycle… […]